Finally, I get a nice big sigh of relief. After two completely agonizing weeks, the test results came back! I am so happy to say that they are normal and negative. Our chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome is less than 1 in 10,000. I could still choose to have the amnio (to make 100% sure) but guess what? <1:10,000 is absolutely fine by me! I also tested negative for the other trisomy and sex chromosome abnormalities so Sophianna is going to be a healthy (thus far) baby girl!
I can’t get over how terrifying and emotional that was for us. It took a little while for everything to sink in so that we could mull it over rationally. I have a background in the sciences and I understood a lot of what was happening but the emotions were running high and I wasn’t getting answers very fast. I do feel for all the other moms out there who have gone through this or have had risk ratios higher than my own. You ladies are strong ❤
We didn’t even want to tell anyone what we were having until we KNEW that it was going to be ok. I didn’t want to get everyone excited about something that may or may not have happened. In all honesty, before we got to see her on the ultrasound (you know-when I fell in LOVE), I was accepting that we could terminate the pregnancy. At 17 weeks, I still didn’t feel a thing of emotion towards the baby. I still felt like I had a parasite in my belly making me sick and absolutely zero attachment to it. Of course, I knew it was a potential life (my future son or daughter) and no one wants to end something so lovely, but if the baby were to be sick, termination was an option I was willing to consider. Children with DS also have a plethora of other health defects that could be life threatening. A lot of children die. If it came that my baby was going to be affected like that, I did not want to bring a child into this world simply to suffer.
Fast forward to the ultrasound… as soon as the tech put that probe to my tummy, I saw her kicking her legs and moving around. I saw her little spine and her ribs and little arms and legs. I got to see her little heart valves, organs, and brain. Then came the profile picture. Oh my gosh-she looks like a little Who! I fell head over heels in love and felt a bond forming quicker than you could imagine. I thought “Please God, let her be OK” and my thoughts on losing her were so much different. I wanted to fight tooth and nail to make sure she was happy and healthy. Talk about emotional!
I decided on the HARMONY blood test, as I mentioned in my last post. It took over a week and a half to get the results in, which wasn’t too bad for such a test however, it was KILLING us. We have been keeping busy with the house. When life gives you lemons (and a tax refund), renovate the entire first floor! The project is almost finished and adds just a bit more sweetness to this whole thing knowing we are getting the house ready for her now. I will post pictures when it is complete.
When the genetic counselor called me and told me she had good news, I almost cried. I was so overjoyed to know that my daughter wasn’t going to be born with such an unfortunate syndrome or disorder. I immediately called my parents, who knew about this, and Hubby and everyone was so happy. It did help a little for me that some of my good friends here at work are MDs and reassured me that it was going to be fine. It helped a lot my family was so supportive and loving towards us. But now! The waiting game has probably given me a good chunk of grey hairs and I am so, so glad that it is over.
Everything has changed in this pregnancy in the last few weeks. To start, I don’t feel like death/zombie/dying. I eat normal meals now and my appetite is increasing ten fold. I saw my baby and found out it was actually a she, exciting me beyond belief. I also got to see the little munchkin hanging out and being happy, making me fall in love. Now, I can feel her kick and move as she gets more and more active and grows bigger and bigger every day. I HATED being pregnant more than anything. I am still not a huge fan but knowing our little girl is on her way and feeling her move has been life changing. I FINALLY feel like I thought I should. I am happy, excited, content, and overjoyed. That storm has passed and we couldn’t be happier.