Sweet 16!

This week marks week number 16 of ~40 weeks. Almost getting to the halfway point! I named this little diddy Sweet 16 because I FINALLY feel more human. My energy has increased 10 fold and I find myself wanting to do stuff. I still get really tired by nighttime but I think that is normal for any human being. It is very exciting to be able to look at a piece of food and be like “Oh hey long lost burger, I think I can probably tolerate you now!” which, in my case, means I’ll eat 3 bites and save it for later in which I will take 3 more bites. But hey, we’re making progress.

My mood hasn’t really changed. I don’t think I am so much of a beast anymore, though, which I am sure everyone is grateful for. Unless I am hungry. Then I am still a complete asshole. Oh well. My tolerance for bullshit hasn’t wavered from the almost zero tolerance policy I so quickly adapted at the beginning of this. I don’t have the energy or the patience to be “politely nice” anymore. If you’re being a douche, I’m not going to pretend you’re not. I am in full Mama Bear mode and will gouge your eyes out if you look at me wrong. I’m going to chalk that up to being “natural”.

I am slightly showing. My biggest fear is having a missed miscarriage, which I suppose is every pregnant lady’s fear. I am reassured by one of my doctor friends that some women do drugs, live in poverty, or consume copious amounts of alcohol and their kids are (sometimes) ok. I feel a little better because I am fairly healthy and all. But it is a huge fear and I am starting to stress about my doc’s appointment on Monday morning. I wish I could call and be like “Hey, so can I just stop by today? You know, just to say hi. NBD”. All this stuff is normal (that is what I keep telling myself).

On Monday, I will make my appointment to have the ultrasound which will hopefully tell us if it is going to be a boy or a girl. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for a girl and for some reason I am convinced it is going to be a girl. A lot of other people are too. I am just hoping they are correct. I want to be able to play dress up and dollies and tea parties. I also want to be able to team up against Hubby 😉 In total honesty, I want to raise a daughter to be a strong independent woman and to do whatever she wants, regardless of sex. Same with a male, I suppose, but the challenges facing women are so much more today than they should be. I have lived my entire life being a strong woman and doing what I wanted and getting what I wanted from life (by working my tail off). I want my daughter to grow the same way and live her own life the way she wants. I mean a boy would be cool too, but I’m just keeping my fingers crossed for a daughter!

Anyways, I am doing pretty well. Starting to get excited about our little bundle of joy coming this September. Nesting is beginning to happen, so this weekend new hardwood floors are going in and I AM PUMPED. I’ll be posting some before and after pictures next week. We took up the carpet and already my house doesn’t smell like dog/dirt anymore. So excited to get the flooring done! Bring on the weekend!



Lesson Learned #235

Today I learned that I cannot use “mind over matter” for everything. After driving like a dog with my head out the window and walking around my car to get rid of the nausea, I frantically looked around to figure out where I could puke. I chose the snowbank in front of my car and proceeded to puke on the front bumper of my car while pretending to be checking out my tires. Professional park and some lady is puking on her bumper? Hey, it’s cool, right??

My mind did not prevail today. Not. At. All.

An Open Letter to Moms

ImageDear Mommy,

Congratulations! You are a mother! I am very happy for you. I, too, will soon be a mom! What a wonderful feeling! I was just wondering, though, because you’re a mom now, does it mean you have to try to scare the bajeezus out of everyone else who is yet to go through what you have gone through? Or perhaps you enjoy this? Some sort of right of passage as a mother?
See, I’m a bit confused. I can’t really tell if you’re intentions are good or you’re just trying to be an asshole.

I will admit, this is new to me. Just like marriage was new to me. When I was getting married you bet your ass I was getting all sorts of unsolicited advice from every Tom, Dick, and Harry (or Tina, Debbie, and Henrietta?) about my marriage and-more often than not-how it is going to completely fail. I would also like to publicly thank everyone who told me horror stories about how terrible marriage is and how the honeymoon phase is now over so I’d better invest in a good moo moo and some bonbons. I would also like you to know that my three year marriage is fantastic and we are still waiting for this “honeymoon phase” to come crashing down around us so we can start really hating each other.

Do think that I truly believe my newborn baby is going to sleep 12 hours a night and change itself? Or that my baby isn’t going to throw up… ever? I’m really not sure. I have heard so many times “Better get your sleep now… you’ll never sleep again!” Yes, I realize that. That is what happens when there is a baby to take care of. I am also a person who wakes up at any hour of the night to drive to a strangers house to perform CPR when their husband is having a heart attack or helping a little old lady off the toilet when they’ve fallen and can’t get up. It is ok. I will figure it out. We kind of knew this going into having a child, so it isn’t going to be a surprise-but thank you so much for the concern!

Yesterday, a friend came to visit and noticed I had bought a new bottle of cocoa butter. She laughed at me about stretchmarks. I really just would like some moisturizing lotion to help with my dry skin, but ok. I have no illusion that “stretch mark cream” or body lotion is going to prevent or cure any stretchmarks. You may tell me that no matter how skinny you get you will never wear a two piece again and that I will be in the same boat with you. I don’t think so. You know what? I might look like Tony the Tiger after this is said and done-but that’s ok. I’ll figure it out when the time comes.  Did you also know I have had severe stretchmarks on my butt, hips, and knees since a huge high school growth spurt and I went on to prance around in a bikini onstage WITH my wonderfully purple stripes? It will be ok.

How about my motorcycle? I should sell that thing, huh? I’ll never ride again now that I will have a baby. Hubby better sell his bike too, if we want to survive financially. Why keep them if they are just going to sit in a garage or a shed and never get any use? Quick question-do YOU want my bike? Am I supposed to sell it at a discount to you or something because I am never allowed back on it? I don’t understand. I have family locally, Hubby has family locally. There isn’t any reason why we can’t ask Mimi or Grammy play with Little One for a couple of hours while we go out for a ride once in a while. And if you’re worried about my finances (bless your heart!), they are paid off and insurance is dirt cheap, so please don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. It will be ok.

Lastly (for now), I would just like you to know that I do NOT, in fact, like to be pregnant. This isn’t “wonderful” and I don’t feel good. You may have had the world’s easiest happiest most feel good pregnancy known to man, but I’m not enjoying this. With this, I just want to remind you that everyone is different. While you enjoyed every second, I am counting down every second until he or she is here so I can hopefully get a little relief. While you might have thought your kid was going to be super-baby and never cry, I am expecting my kid to be a little terror. While you sit there all smug thinking “This lady has NO idea what she has gotten herself into”, please know I made a conscious choice to try to have a child and start a family and I have a pretty good idea that life is going to change. I am expecting it to change. It is terrifying, exciting, and non-negotiable. Shits gonna hit the fan and it is going to be both great and sucky at the same time.

With this being said, I would like to pose a serious question: How am I supposed to respond? I just nod, giving my most sympathetic face and say “Oh no” or “Oh yes” or “Oh my!” and pat my belly for good measure. There is no way to really respond to “You’re never going to sleep again”. Because what I’d like to say is “I will sleep. Whether I fall asleep in my cereal or actually get to squeeze a nap in when my sister is watching the baby, I will sleep at some point!” Because I’m not a fucking vampire and neither are you.

All I ask is that you stop treating me like I’m an idiot. I will completely admit that I haven’t experienced this yet and I have no idea what is really going to happen. But I would very much appreciate it if you’d stop treating me like I was born yesterday. Instead, ask how I am feeling. Give me good advice (keeping a roll of tums in my purse? Great idea!) and be positive. Of course there are going to be crappy things to watch out for and to dread, but your smug “You just wait!” attitude is exhausting.

Just an FYI though: I will figure it out. It will be ok.

A very exhausted and annoyed Mom-to-Be,


P.S. I know this whole getting advice thing is inevitable and is going to continue happening (for the rest of my life). I just wish I had a mute button, that is all.


Baby Firefighter Coming September 2014!

We finally made our announcement. We let the guys on the fire department know and well-they are guys-so the overwhelming response was “Cool. Congratulations.” However, if I was still dancing, my fellow dancers would be sashaying around me screeching and blowing out eardrums so I guess it is just the company that you keep. We also posted on Facebook and got a lot of congratulations and support, which is nice. It just feels so good to finally let the secret out and not to have to pretend that I’m totally normal! 

Here’s the announcement we made:


We really are super excited. I am getting more and more used to the idea every day. I am fairly certain I am beginning to show now. You can tell my belly isn’t just fat, there is something there. I am looking forward to being a little more pregnant so that people aren’t all like “Wow-that’s a fatty!”. However, I am totally loving being able to wear my own clothes still and not have to worry about getting new pants just yet!

Life is good. Baby is coming, I am starting to understand that, and Hubby is excited (and as of late helping around the house, making my job SO much easier!!)

xx C

It’s Alive!

We had our 12 week ultrasound this past week and everything is looking pretty good! I couldn’t believe the little bugger was actually so active! The tech rubbed the wand on my belly and as soon as it focused in on the baby, I saw it doing some sort of crazy baby dance. Like the running man but with its little arms going up and down instead. I cried “Oh my God! It’s moving!” like some sort of mad scientist after zapping a Frankenstein-like creation for the fiftieth time and having it actually work. The tech laughed and watching the dancing baby (not so different from the dancing baby) I started cracking up! For whatever reason, I just wasn’t expecting it to move! Of course, every time I laughed, my belly knocked the wand out of the lady’s hand and she had to keep re-adjusting. But seriously! How exciting! It was real!

After having to empty my bladder for the second time in an hour, the tech tried to get a few more pictures. Of course, the baby had fallen asleep and was not having any of the “waking up” (though if my kid comes out with scrambled brains, we know why!). We did get a few good pictures though-which is very exciting. It makes it a little more real now! We broke the good news to Hubby’s grandfather and he goes “Look at that thing! It’s a monster!” Thanks, buddy. “It’s bigger than Madison (Hubby’s cousin’s 4 month old)”. Awesome.

It was really exciting to finally tell people. It isn’t a secret at work anymore, which is great for complaining purposes. Our families know and now the only ones left to tell are the members of the Fire Department. I am really curious to see their reactions. We took some really cute pictures of our fire gear and our boots and helmets and the little booties I crocheted last week. I will make sure to put the pictures up once I have them. I can’t wait to tell them during our meeting. I am the only female firefighter/EMT right now and to have a baby is pretty cool… but Hubby is also a firefighter/EMT so it is even more special because we’re having a super-firefighter/EMT baby! The department’s first one!

So yeah. I am exhausted, still feeling like crap, but at least I don’t have to pretend everything is peachy anymore. Everyone keeps asking me if I’m excited. Of course I lie and say “Oh, we are just so excited!” when all I really feel is just complete exhaustion and the dread of still having to wait almost 6 months! Wish me luck! But we are very excited that it is healthy and growing and moving so far! It was a little nerve wracking at first, but having the confirmation of the little monster relieves a little bit of it!

Cheers to everyone to have a good week 🙂