Last night was a pretty crazy night at my house. Or I should say in front of my house. After getting an app and a drink with a close relative of mine, she went completely berserk on the way home to drop me off over seemingly nothing and sparked a little tiff with my neighbors. She came flying into my driveway, slammed the car in park, and laid on the horn (which I would apologize for the noise). She then proceeded to run inside to get my husband to “get his wife out” of her car. I am fairly used to this behavior as she has had some traumatic events in the past and suffers from PTSD. I don’t understand enough about the disease to really get it but this morning, I received a text saying she was triggered at someone at the restaurant that had asked her if she knew self defense.
What angers me the most is while this shouting match was going on, my lovely neighbor who is about the same age as my relative is standing in her front lawn yelling “I’m calling the fucking cops!”. I asked her calmly not to call the cops and she yells “I’m calling them!” and went into her house. Listen, bitch. Two things. A. How about an “Is everything ok?” before threatening to call the cops rather than making it about you. No, she wasn’t ok. She was having flashbacks. How about some empathy? Or maybe you should just mind your own business if you can’t be of any help. And B. You have a kid you can’t take care of and the cops are pretty much regulars at your house. I have been to your house as a professional to help you at your worst time and this is what we get?? People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
So today, after a very stressful evening and a very furious morning (dear neighbor, this is NOT ok), I went in search for some more information on PTSD and how I can help my relative when she needs it. I stumbled upon a forum and there was a post written by someone currently suffering from PTSD. The person wrote that they found one of their therapy notebooks and had highlighted an entry using “Just for today”. It seems like an excellent way to start helping yourself. Just for today is really a non-committal, short, baby step in the right direction. Because if you do something just for today, and you do it just for today the next day, you can really start the ball rolling on positive thinking, positive actions, and a more positive life.
Here is my just for today.
Just for today, I am going to forgive you (neighbor) for being a completely heartless dumb bitch.
Just for today, I am going to remind myself that my relative really needs my help and to overlook the extremely tough meltdowns she has after a trigger.
Just for today, I am going to make peace with the idea of the person who traumatized my relative and caused this heartache for all of us.
Just for today, I am going to believe that I could not have done anything more to protect her, help her, or prevent this from happening.
Just for today I am going to try to not worry so much about the little things.
Just for today, I am going to have a little “me” time and relax a little more.
Just for today, I am going to try not to stress about the projects awaiting completion around my home.
Just for today, I am going to believe I am in the right place at the right time.
Just for today, I am going to be fully and completely happy.
Just for today, it is ok to let someone else be strong for me.
Just for today, I am going to heal.
What are your just for todays?