Holy Jesus, It has been FAR too long

Man, oh man alive! It has been over a month since my last post. I’m going to give you a few excuses you can choose from below to explain my prolonged absence:

  1. I have been super busy saving orphaned crocodiles in the mean back woods of New Hampshire.
  2. I have been taking flying lessons. No, not aviation lessons, literal flying lessons. Like with a cape.
  3. I got hit over the head with a candlestick during a home invasion and had temporarily lost all memory.
  4. I have been in the witness protection program for witnessing a horrific takedown of a unicorn dealing coke.

So there you have it. I have clearly been a busy bee. Maybe. Ok, so maybe I have no excuse and I apologize. I’ll have some new crap for your hungry eyes to read momentarily. For now, just think of those poor, poor crocodiles in New Hampshire.