TOMS and the “Movement” and my own Tootsies

ImageBuy a pair of TOMS shoes and give some poor kid a pair of shoes! Sweet! Great idea! I love it!

That is not why I bought them.

My girlfriend has two or more pairs and wanted to buy another so I went to the store with her. I didn’t know what the whole hubbub was about with them. They are ugly little things if you ask me. I saw a pair of lacy ones and I was like hmm… those aren’t so bad. Then my friend convinced me to try them on. “Hmm, I suppose this is why they are so popular” my inner-voice remarked as I walked around the store. Ok, I’ll get these.

With a price tag of over $50, I can only see the reason that they are comfortable be the deciding factor to their success. It can’t be their whole buy one give one deal because really, do people care that much if kids get shoes halfway around the world? Really-when they are buying a ton of other products that probably are undoing their “good deed” as we speak? Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a wonderful idea and I like to be just as socially conscious as the next person. I do give to charity and volunteer my time as well. But are people just jumping on the band wagon? Who knows.

I bought these puppies because I liked them, they were comfortable, I might be able to get away with the particular lacy ones at work. I didn’t buy them to be a cool kid (I didn’t even know they were popular-I mean-they are ugly!) and I didn’t buy them to help some kid wear shoes. I know, I’m an asshole. But it is the truth.

My take on this whole thing? Why on earth would I spend some good cake for shoes that make you STINK. Seriously, I can wear work shoes, sneakers, hooker heels, and old boots all day long and come out smelling like roses. These things? Wear them for half an hour to go to the store, come home, stink up house. Awful. Actually, I didn’t know this was a problem until quite recently.

I take pride in myself with my non-smelly feet. I wanted to see if I could wash my shoes (they look dingy now from use) and I came upon a ton of people saying how much they stink. Hmm. Dumb bastards-they have stinky feet-HA! Not me. I even bent down and smelled both my feet and the shoes and had no smell.

Oh no,  Oh YES me! I didn’t think I had that problem. I do! I came back from the store to my hotel room and took my shoes off. Oh. My. God. I am a foot stinker! I am just like everyone else! Oh no!!! I try to be all economically aware and socially conscious and what do I get? Stinky feet. Yes, you read that right, I am changing my tune. Now I am a martyr for some little kid in Columbia (actually, I have no idea if they send shoes there) so he can walk to school and not get glass all stuck between his toes from the crazy drug lords’ night of binge drinking and what do I get? Smelly ass feet.


If you’re thinking about getting these to help kids, do everyone else a favor. Go donate to a shelter, GoodWill, hell-go to Walmart buy like 6 pairs (you could probably get that many pairs for the price of one pair of TOMS) and donate them to kids who need them, send money to those funds that feed kids and educate them (probably more important than shoes anyway). But for the love of God-DO NOT BUY A PAIR OF THESE SHOES! Or at least buy that powder to fix smelly shoes in the “extra strength” version. You’re going to need it.



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