Oh, Baby, Baby!

The hubby and I have been married for almost two years. Apparently, at the 1.5 year mark, people have it in their heads that they need to ask “So, when are you going to have babies?” Holy cow. *eye roll* None of ya business, that’s when!

So it has been becoming extremely apparent that this is an issue to people. My sex life and biological clock have suddenly become public. Perhaps it is a nice gesture, maybe showing that they are excited for me to spawn miniatures for them to play with. Maybe they are just curious and like to know everyone’s business. Whatever it is, it is happening on a weekly basis.

I was brought up to respond to any question with grace so rather than punch them in their own baby maker when asked, I politely smile with a knowing look on my face and say “Oh, we would like them, but maybe in the future.” Sometimes I rub my belly to really throw them off.

Sometimes I get the blank stare like “What is this future thing you speak of?”  which sometimes shuts them up. Once in a while I get the “Well, what are you waiting for?” I have even been asked if I was trying and how… Um, well, I don’t want to be the person to give you the birds and the bees talk to I am going to just pretend I didn’t hear you…

Listen, people, I am only 25 years old! I don’t want to have a baby right this second because I just don’t! No real explanation. I just don’t want to be tied down to a little bundle of joy and spend the next 20 some-odd years cleaning up after the damn thing. Ok? OK!?! I want to be selfish right now and buy what I want, and eat what I want and pee when I want and come home at whatever time I feel fit. I don’t want the extra responsibility. I don’t want to have to put that constant drain on my bank account. I don’t want a baby RIGHT THIS SECOND!!

Don’t get me wrong, I want kids and I just love children. But I don’t want one right now.

Pretty soon I am going to resort to insanely inappropriate answers like “Oh! Yeah, soon-I heard they make good eatin’!” or maybe even “I have been approached by the government to harvest all of me eggs for a top secret experiment in which I currently have 13 surrogate mothers carrying my babies for me.”

Come on, people! We know you’re all curious-but keep it to yourself! Gossip to someone who knows baby Mama if you have to. Get the DL from her sister or her friend if you must quench that thirst. But for God’s sake. Don’t ask again!

It makes me wonder how awful it must be for couples who can’t conceive? I should be able to have children, but I can’t imagine the pain that the inquisition must cause. I will make it a point to never ask any woman when she and her significant other are going to pop out a kid.

Honestly, besides the good-natured people and the benevolent intent, what causes this invasive and (to me) slightly inappropriate curiosity of people?

Signed, No Babies Here, C.


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