I owned my own event bartending company for 5 years before I gave it up for my career. This, I have never even heard of before. Thanks to a girlfriend from work, Pinterest, and BuzzFeed Food, I was able to try these little wonders. I just had to have them last night. Here is what I did:
Mmm. Apples. The recipe calls for 5, I only had 4, you really do need 5, I had leftover jello yumminess.
Cut each apple in half and scoop out seeds and meat to make a nice jello shot shell. Note: Do not cut out stem area because jello liquid leaks. I learned my lesson.
Put apples in a muffin pan. Genius! Brush apple cups with lemon juice to prevent browning.
Make jello filling:
1/2 cup water
1 envelope caramel hot chocolate mix (regular is cool too, I didn’t find caramel)
1/4 cup sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup caramel sauce
1 envelope unflavored knox gelatin
1/4 cup sugar
1 cup vodka (I used vanilla vodka)
In a medium saucepan, combine water with hot chocolate mix and whisk until the cocoa dissolves. Add evaporated milk and caramel sauce and whisk again to combine. Sprinkle gelatin onto mixture evenly and allow to sit about 2 minutes. Heat the mixture over medium-low heat, whisking occasionally, until it just reaches a gentle simmer — this is to ensure gelatin is fully dissolved.
Add sugar and simmer gently for about a minute. Turn off the heat and let mixture cool to warm. Add vodka. Transfer to a container with a spout.
Fill each apple half with jello filling. I had leftover so I put them in the muffin tin. Refrigerate.
Cut slices out of each apple half and serve. Note: These are “dangerous”. Besides being absolutely amazing, the apple shell kills the alcohol note and makes you think you can eat a hundred of these. If you do, you may find yourself waking up on the neighbor’s lawn spooning with their lawn gnome. Just a fair warning.
Ah, Tuesday. The day of Tues. What does this all mean? Well it isn’t Monday and we are still in the first half of the week. Gross. I am not a fan of Tuesdays. So instead of beating my head against the thin walls of my cubicle and risk distracting anyone else in my office, I have tried to think of something funny that has happened to me that I would like to share. I have come up with exactly one thing. I am not feeling especially creative or nostalgic today, I apologize.
I would like to share how not to change a tire. My best friend in college called me one snowy nasty day, utterly freaking, that she blew a tire. I am pretty sure school was actually closing at this point and since she did not live on campus, she had to make the harrowing trek back to her apartment. Welp. She called me in a frenzy asking for help. How could I say no? I mean, really? How hard can it be to change a tire-in a snowstorm?
Let me preface this by saying she had a cute little VW bug and had 0% handy-man in her. Also, let me just tell you I had never changed a tire and had no idea what the hell I was doing. Ok, so put two 21 year old girls in a snow storm, add a flat tire, take away common sense, and add in the fact that I had somewhere to be in less than an hour. Where would you start? Aha! I thought to myself, you need a new tire to fix an old tire. Find it. After 10 minutes of looking through her car (seriously, where the hell can you hide a tire??) we found it. Great. Step two: take it out of the car. Ah, a bit easier said than done but don’t worry. We got it.
Step three. What is step three? Find the instructions manual! I had her search out her trusty VW handbook and made her stand there and watch as I found the answer to the meaning of life. Or just how to change a tire. Dear Volkswagen: your instructions are not easily located within your manual. Just saying.
Ok. Now that we found out how to do it, let’s do this. The thing about it being snowy sucked for a number of reasons. One, it was cold. Two, visibility was at an all time low. Three, my hair was getting wet. Four, on any normal given day, people would give their left nut to help two college cuties. Do you think they care about that when it is snowing to beat the band? Nope. No, they do not. Either that or we were just bundled up too much and we couldn’t show off our sex appeal. Cleavage and snow do not go well together.
So we find the tire, the jack, and the tire iron. We find you need to jack the car up to get the tire on or off. The jack was completely terrifying. I, for some unknown reason, thought the jack was going to flap open on its own and pop up. (I did not think it would *magically* jack the car, it was just way too compact to be for what I thought it was for). So my friend, Randi, was following me around with this jack freaking the crap out of me while I tried to read the handbook. “For God’s sake, stop pointing it at me!!” I screech as she continues to pry it open. I grab it from her and hold it away from my body and face as I, too, try to open the damn thing. Turns out, there is a little area to screw it open, in case you were wondering. So we place the jack under the car and begin to jack it up. I also had this horrible vision of having the car fall off the jack. Remember I said I had somewhere to be in an hour? Oh we are getting real close to that hour at this point. I was pacing and cursing as we both took turns to try to get the damn tire off. Would you like to know how much of a great friend I am? That is right. I left. She ended up having a boyfriend finish the job. Moral of the story? Well there are a few here. 1. Car jacks will not, in fact, blow your face off. 2. Don’t ask me for help when it is snowing because chances are I will be cursing you throughout my entire meeting as my body shivers and my hair drips all over the floor. 3. Dress up like snow bunnies in order to elicit some help. 4. Don’t expect me to stick around. I won’t. 5. At least have a camera ready next time to capture my lovely face as I freak out about dying from a blow from a tire jack. Seriously. I was petrified.
So there you have it. Another “you had to be there” moment brought to you by me. It could be worse. It can always be worse. Happy Tuesday!
So like every other female between the age of 18 and 80, I am in love with Pinterest. I am a scientist by nature and LOVE experiments. Pinterest gives me millions of theories to test out. Case in point? This bad Larry right here. Meet Chocolate Cream Cheese Breakfast Cookies from Cookies and Cups. They are so yummy and so easy, you won’t even believe it. I will definitely be adding these to my arsenal of goodies to bring to parties and have people compliment me on my excellent culinary skills and me be all “Oh, well, it wasn’t too much trouble”.
Chocolate Cream Cheese Breakfast Cookies
2 pkgs of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls
1 pkg of Cream Cheese (8 oz block)
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp of vanilla extract
Chocolate/chocolate chips (mini ones work great)
Preheat the oven to 350°.
Warm cream cheese to room temp (so you can mix it) and mix in sugar and vanilla.
Spray a cookie sheet with Pam or grease. Roll out the dough.
Spread cream cheese over dough and sprinkle chocolate. (I also used Lindt chocolate in chunks and it came out FREAKING AWESOME).
Roll up the dough (super easy because it was just in that same shape in the container it came in).
The website calls for the dough to be chilled. I did not do this. You don’t have to but it is way easier to cut if you do.
Cut dough in 1/4″ slices and lay out on cookie sheet. The website calls for parchment paper. I’d use this as they would probably come off easier. You can just twist the cookies off if you don’t use the paper.
Bake for 12-14 minutes or until golden brown.
Seriously, these were very tasty. I deem this experiment a huge success. I also have seen a bunch of different cheeses and meats and sauces rolled up in the Crescent dough… the possibilities? Endless.
Looking around WordPress I find the daily prompt. Sure, I can fill you in on how I voted, you voted, we all voted, Obama won, people are happy, people are sad… blah blah blah OR I can give you some real healthy advice. I have been prompted with “What have you done that you would advise your friends never to do?” Duuuude.
Rather than rehash my past failed relationships and poor fashion choices, I will give you some pretty handy advice I have learned first hand does NOT work and is NOT worth the energy to do it. Enjoy!
Don’t date the locals: If you are in a vacationland or resort town… do not date the locals. There are many scenarios that could arise from doing so. You could get sucked into a freaky deaky cult. You could become someone’s fourth baby daddy. You could wake up somewhere naked with a kidney missing. Just not a good idea.
Don’t pay to get judged: If you are an unsuspecting pretty young lady and are interested in doing pageants, don’t pay for them. Miss America is a scholarship pageant: they pay you (how cool is that??). Miss USA is a beauty pageant. You pay them. Lots of money. While the shiny pretty crown is nice looking, you are paying through the nose to be judged. Shit. Just go to the mall. You’re welcome.
Don’t date the popular guys: If you value your sanity and your sanitary… Well, you know. I have a theory that everyone peaks at some point in their life. Some are luckier than others and their peak lasts more than a year or two and they are pretty awesome. Other not so lucky people peak in high school and its all down hill from there. Sucky. So date the geeks and the dorks and watch as they blossom into a beauuutiful butterfly… as their career skyrockets… and they make lots of money… and get rich and famous. Don’t be a has-been! Don’t date one, either.
Don’t settle: If you have a dream, an idea, an interest. Go for it. Don’t settle on living your every day ho-hum. Move to that big city, take that offer, run like the wind, Bullseye. Do it. I dare you. You don’t want to regret something 1, 10, 30 years from now you can’t fix because you settled. This goes for relationships too. If someone just isn’t your everything, move along. There’s nothing to see here. If it’s not everything you’ve dreamed it would be, keep going until you found that dream you’ve dreamed. Otherwise, you won’t be happy and that’s just not fair to either of you.
Don’t let people tell you that you can’t do something: This is a biggie. Just cause someone says you can’t do something, you most certainly can. I do not advise breaking the law… that is a bad day. But if someone says you’ll never amount to anything or you can’t become the person you want. Screw that. You can. Prove them wrong. It happens. (This is how I became a firefighter… and a lumberjack… and a scientist…)
I’m going to get off my soapbox now. So take some of the advice, run with it, or run from it, depending. Go.
I have a package of runts I will snack on during the ride home from work that I bought a few weeks ago. Every time I eat them though, I am reminded how much they suck and I end up pissing and moaning to myself in my car looking like a lunatic all the way home. Why do they suck? Because instead of the wonderful little lime fruits and delicious little cherry fruits (at least that is what I think they were), they have been replaced with green apple fruits (gross) and purple grape fruits (which are totally not proportional in size compared to the other fruits). So disappointing. So then this gets me thinking… what else do I miss from when I was a kid?
I was born in the second half of the 80’s. Young enough to be a 90’s kid, old enough to remember most of the 80’s stuff… Kind of a weird cusp kind of thing so don’t mind my “I miss from the 80’s…” when it was actually the 90’s. I’ve compiled a list of the things I miss a most and a few things I do not miss.
The lime and cherry runts. Seriously, I don’t know why you’d change them, there was nothing wrong with them.
Punky Brewster. Dear Punky, we were best friends when I was a kid, you just didn’t know it. God I loved that show.
Pop Qwiz Colored Popcorn. It was so much fun having “mystery” popcorn. What color would your popcorn be??
Lisa Frank. I have no idea why her stuff was so awesome but who could resist such beaming bright colors and adorable animal awesomeness? So. Cool.
Cartoon animated Disney movies. Cinderella. Lion King. The Little Mermaid. Aladdin. Sleeping Beauty. Beauty and the Beast. Sure, the animated movies now are pretty cool but they are just not the same. Sidenote: I will have that library in Beauty and the Beast if I have to sell every organ in my body.
Reading Rainbow. This was a ploy to get kids reading. I loved to read. Thanks, Reading Rainbow!
Cereal: There was this wicked awesome cereal I can still taste… I just can’t remember what it is called! It was similar to rice krispies only sweet… I’ll find it and edit later.
TGIF. I looked forward to Friday nights to watch my shows!
Gloworms. I had one, didn’t you?
My Little Pony. I loved all the pretty ponies!
Family Matters. I think I have seen every episode.
Oregon Trail. Wow-whenever we could have free computer time THIS was the go to… Your kids always died though. Kind of a depressing game for kids but we loved it!
Krystal Princesses. I loved these things! I had a whole castle for them and everything! Plus, you could wear their crowns as rings.
Fashion Plates. I used this all. the. time. I’m pretty sure I still have it.
Mix tapes. I had a little pink radio where I just hit record when my favorite song was on. I was amazed when CDs came out that you could burn.
Jellies. I had pink ones and clear ones and purple ones. It just sucked getting a rock in them. “Ow! I got a rock in my Jellies!”
Care Bears. What a lovely little TV show. Except they called my cousin Care Bear and she and my other cousin had a club and wouldn’t let me in. WTF.
Married With Children. All I knew is that sitting on the couch eating bon bons was totally the way to go.
Bill Cosby Show. I loved this show too. You’d think by my list all I did was watch TV but they had some really great shows back then!
Super NES. Even my mom played with us. But of course you couldn’t shut the system off without losing your progress, unless you had a code… My dad used to hide the controllers on us if we were being punished. My mom actually cried when we killed Bowser.
Inspector Gadget. Fun show and fun Nintendo game!
Phil Collins. I thought he had the best music. Su-su-sudiooo.
Queen. I am absolutely 100% obsessed with them still. I LOVED Freddie Mercury and remember watching his last performance on TV. I was in awe. I still remember it too.
Movie Rental Store. It was a treat to go to rent a movie!
U2. My dad was really into them for a while and we’d listen to them on the new CD’s he got. CD’s were just so cool. Sidenote: This is my favorite album cover. I walked into a Walmart 2 years or so ago and there was a woman’s nightshirt onsale with this image. Oh. My. God. I wear it all the time.
Sitting in the front seat. We had to fight over who was going to be cool and sit in the front seat. Then they go on saying how its dangerous. Party poopers. Of course I can sit in the front seat not but it isn’t the same.
Driving on mom’s lap. Come on. Your parents did it too. Let you sit on their lap and drive the car. Imagine if we did that now??
Playing outside. We played outside in any type of weather. We ran out of “normal” games to play? We’d make up our own! The more neighborhood kids, the merrier.
Oatmeal Swirlers. I loved this oatmeal. It came with a little jelly packet to add to your oatmeal. So. Good.
Black olives and Bugles on your fingers. Snack time at on your finger tips.
Mini piano toys. These were fun. Until you accidentally jam a rubber key inside the plastic.
Dole Fruit Pops. My Nana used to give these to us as a treat and sit us out on her front porch and watch the cars drive by. We’d play a game and pick a color and whoever reached say 10 “blue” cars first won. They probably still have them… I just can’t find them!
Ecto Cooler. This I do not miss. My mom apparently thought we loved them or the marketing that they had lots of Vitamin C made her keep buying them. Yuck.
Slouch Socks Stirrup Pants. I do not miss these either. Sure, they were a fashion statement but those seams across the toe? Torturous!! I had to wear all of my socks inside out or else I wouldn’t wear socks! Awful!
Stirrup Pants. Third thing I do not miss. At all. I have long legs and these always pulled my pants down and made my crotch go somewhere to my knees. Plus it felt weird in your shoes. No thank you!
So there you have it. My list of things that I mostly miss from my childhood. If nothing else, please, please bring back the cherry and lime runts!!